Midnight Talks
by Lauronica Mars
Summary: "Do you believe in the afterlife?" Chloe has many questions that she would like to get answered. Sometimes the answers aren't as simple as yes or no.
1. Do you...?

"Do you believe in the afterlife?"

It wasn't unusual for Chloe to ask such questions as she lie awake at night. Her mind always thinking of questions most people wouldn't want to ask. Always so curious of the world and beyond it.

"What?"

Beca though, was always caught off guard when any question of the sort was asked. She didn't care to ask about what she could never truly know the answer for.

"The afterlife. What happens when you die. Do you think you go to Heaven or do you just aimlessly wander around the world. Searching for something."

Beca hadn't really thought too much into about what would happen after she died apart from how it would affect the people in her life. How the end of her life would massively change the life of everyone around her.

"I don't know Chlo. I never really thought about it."

It was the truth. She knew Chloe had an answer of her own belief. She wouldn't have brought it up if she hadn't thought of it before. Most nights Beca had an answer and explanation for Chloe, having thought of the question before herself. On nights like tonight, she opted to just let Chloe speak. Form an answer while listening to chime in at the end with.

"I think we get reborn. Our soul, entity, whatever it is that binds us to our bodies, leaves our dying one and enters a new one. Over and over again we will enter a new body and live our lives to the end. Only to start anew as someone else. Our memories, feelings, achievments, everything we did as one person fades away as we begin again. We will never know of the person we once were. As beautiful as it is to think about, never truly dead or gone it's really scary."

By now Beca had turned fully onto her side, staring at Chloe as she looked to the cieling too deep in thought to notice the eyes upon her.

"Why do you think it's scary?"

Beca didn't know what answer she was expecting. She knew this conversation was more than a passing moment. It had turned into something more than random midnight thoughts. She held her breathe waiting for the answer.

"I'll have forgotten you. Every moment we've ever shared. Every laugh, smile, and kiss. Wherever I go next I won't have you with me. I could have gone through a million lives without you, but now that you're here I don't ever want to live another without you. Knowing everything we've made together will be something I never be apart of again is the scariest thing I could ever imagine."

Somewhere during her response Chloe had shifted to look directly at Beca. Both staring in each others eyes, the soft lull of the night washing over them, Chloe continues.

"Whatever life we live after we die, I'm glad I met you in this one. So I can still remember everything about us. It's scary to think I won't have you with me in my next life, but us being here now, together. It gives me hope that someday, somehow, I'll have another life with you in it."

Both Beca and Chloe had begun to cry. What had started as an innocent question turned into something much greater. An emotion neither could describe, but both felt from deep within.

"I'll find you."

Chloe hadn't expected that from Beca. She had expected an "I love you" followed by a "goodnight" shortly after, having believed that she had ended the conversation for the night.

"Wherever we end up after this life, in whatever body or whatever place. I will find you. You and I are forever and I'm not gonna let something like rebirth stop us from being together. We won't be Beca and Chloe anymore, but we will always be together."

Beca never answered Chloe on her thoughts about the afterlife. It wasn't something seriously discussed again. But bewteen you and her, she didn't care where she went after. As long as she was with Chloe, she was exactly where she was supposed to be.


	2. How did you know?

"How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"What love was."

Oh

 _It was another late night. Beca and Chloe lying in bed waiting for sleep to wash over them. At least until Chloe asked her question._

"So?" Chloe asks again.

"I don't really know Chlo. I haven't really had the best track record with it." Beca whispers.

 _Beca absolutely knew. Of course she knew. She wasn't lying when she said she didn't have the best track record with love, but that doesn't mean she told the truth either._

"C'mon Bec, you were with Jessie for so long you had to have figured it out right?"

 _Oh she figured it out with Jessie. But it wasn't **for** Jessie, and that made all the difference._

 _It takes Beca a moment to figure out what to say, how to say, exactly what she meant. Chloe lays patiently staring at the ceiling, giving Beca time to think._

"My parents split up when I was really young" she starts. Chloe turns to look at her while Beca stays facing the ceiling.

"My dad cheated on my mom. They argued a lot after that. Some days were good, and some days were really bad. I wouldn't see my dad for days, he'd go off and stay somewhere else."

"Beca you don't-"

"No, it's okay. It was a long time ago. But after that, I wasn't ever really sure about love. I thought it never lasted, wasn't worth it. When I got with Jessie I..." Beca took a breath before starting again.

"When I got with Jessie I thought, this is it. This is what it is. Not the fighting or the cheating, but this. The longer it went on though, I realized I was in love."

 _Beca has turned to look at Chloe. Both now staring at one another in the darkness on the night._

"How did it go?" Chloe whispered.

"About as well as you'd expect. I had gone over to his one night, you and I had just spent the day at the fair. We ended up leaving early, do you remember?"

"Do I remember dragging you to all the games and you fighting a five year old for a stuffed bear? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You wanted the bear! I wasn't just gonna not get you it!"

 _Chloe laughs as she thinks about how much Beca went through just for a bear. For her._

"So that night after you left, what happened?"

"I went over Jessie's, he put in a movie just like he always did. As it played I was thinking more and more about how I thought it would be different. There wasn't fighting or cheating, but this all still felt wrong. He felt wrong. I thought I loved him. I do love him, but it isn't in the way I had thought I did. He didn't make me feel like myself."

 _Beca had trailed off and the two sat in silence while she gathered her thoughts._

"Love isn't just being with someone. It's knowing they're with you when they're by your side or a thousand miles away. It's when you give everything to someone even when you're scared of what might happen. Even after 3 years there was still so many walls I had up with him. I knew who I was before I met him and after awhile I feel like I lost that. I lost myself. I realized that you were the one who brought me back, you helped me find me again."

 _Chloe let out a small gasp. She knew Beca wasn't herself for a year or so after she and Jessie got together. She didn't want to say anything in fear of being wrong. Didn't want it to seem as though she was jealous, even though she was. She didn't think she was helping her, she was just being her friend. She was Beca, and she's do anything for Beca._

"I figured out what love was the exact moment that I met you, I just didn't know it yet. I know what love is now, because it's you. It's always been you. You know me better than anyone i've ever met or ever will meet. You pulled down every wall I had in the span of one conversation. No matter how much I tried you've always been there with me. You're in everything I do because you're constantly with me no matter what. I figured out what love was the same moment I met you and I knew what love was the same moment I realized I was in love with you."

 _Beca's sharp inhale made Chloe realize she hadn't meant to say as much as she did. Which was quickly proved right when Beca tried to backpedal._

"I mean, not that-

i'm not like in love with you cause that would be weird. Wait not because it would be weird to love you just that we're so close and me messing that up would be wrong but i'm not gonna mess that up because i'm obviously not-"

"Beca!"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

 _Beca knew what love was. It wasn't fighting or cheating. It wasn't juice pouches and Rocky. It was Chloe. Beca wishes she had known that earlier, but knowing at all was all she needed._


End file.
